


Hubert

by RogueTiger



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-05 05:10:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13380852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RogueTiger/pseuds/RogueTiger
Summary: Just a quick story I couldn't resist throwing out there after looking at my Twitter feed.For anyone not on Twitter, Kat brought a plant which didn't appreciate the weather there and nearly died... she pruned the hell out of it and named it Hubert. Mel commented as only Mel can <3 and Kat commented back and gave everyone all the Wynaught brotp feels <3





	Hubert

**Author's Note:**

> Waverly looked back and forth between Nicole’s face, flushed pink from being out in the kind of temperatures only a frigid Calgary winter could produce, and the plant she’d placed on the table before them. Well, it could only be assumed that the sorry, wilted, blackened thing was a plant at some point… It was in a pot anyway… Plastic and as pink as Nicole’s face.

“Nicole, baby, what is… _was_ … that?” Tilting her head as she studied it, Waverly reached out and touched a blackened leaf. She drew away quickly, almost elbowing Wynonna in the face on the way, as the leaf dropped off and fell to the table leaving the plant looking even more sad and dejected.

“A peace lily. Or it was,” Nicole admitted grudgingly with a sad sigh as she looked at the plant. “Thirty seconds.”

“Thirty seconds?”

“Hey, definitely an improvement on nine seconds, baby girl,” Wynonna chortled.

“It was eight seconds,” Waverly mumbled back distractedly almost on instinct.

Wynonna smirked around the edge of her coffee mug as Waverly shot her a glare of warning not to bring up any further mention of her ex, Champ, in front of her current girlfriend. Though, Wynonna was pretty sure that Nicole was too distracted to even notice anything she said.

“That’s how long it took me to walk out of the grocery store on Main and get back to the car and…” she waved a hand over the plant indicating what had become of it in that short amount of time.

Brow raised in a sardonic arch, Wynonna picked up a wilted leaf with a fingertip and let it drop back. Miracle of miracles, it managed to stay on unlike the one that Waverly had touched but God, it was sorry looking! “Dude, your plant was a bit of a fucking puss.”

“Hubert was vulnerable and naked! How dare you!”

Wynonna sat back, blinking in shock and dawning amusement at Nicole’s smartly presented back as the redhead snatched the plant up off the table protectively and turned away, grumbling something under her breath. ‘Hubert?’ she mouthed to Waverly who was leaning on the table with her chin propped on her hands, busy watching Nicole with heart eyes working overtime and the most sickening love-struck expression on her face Wynonna was pretty sure she’d ever seen.

Before Wynonna’s bemused eyes… and right in front of her coffee too… Nicole started recreating the finest primetime medical drama with her surgical skills on Hubert as she trimmed and shaped with the flashing blades of a small pair of scissors until the counter and floor were strewn with bits of blackened leaves and something skinny and mostly plant shaped remained as she stepped back.

“There!” Nicole nodded, happy with the results as she took one more tiny little snip off a leaf.

“Dude, wouldn’t it have been easier to just buy a new plant?” Wynonna snorted and pursed her lips as Nicole gestured over her shoulder with a mildly threatening wave of her scissors.

“No soldier left behind, Earp!”

Wynonna had been wrong about the love-struck expression on Waverly’s face. As sickening as that one had been it was nothing compared to the one Waverly gave her as she smartly finished clearing up the surgically removed leaves like a whirlwind of cleaning and crossed the room to press herself against her cop girlfriend like she was greeting a hero back from war… or a surgeon fresh out of a long and complex groundbreaking operation to save a dying child.

“Bleah!” Wynonna stated emphatically as they continued making out with their eyes. In the end, all her frankly award-winning efforts with the barfing sound effects earned her was a middle finger sticking straight up in the air from her little sister as she pulled Nicole down into a kiss.

“Anyway! Not sure if this will ring any bells with you morons but… Bulshar rising… Revenants to track down! We still doing that or are we just, I don’t know, holding a prayer vigil for Hubert instead?”

“Fine,” Waverly rolled her eyes and shot her ever sassy sister a smile and slapped her on the shoulder on the way past her as she dragged Nicole behind her to ‘help’ her get ready.

“Right then!” Wynonna stared at the plant as she finished off the last of her coffee. Standing up she pushed back her chair aggressively, eyes still fixed on the plant like she was trying to make it blink. Chuckling at herself, she started to follow her sister’s path only to swing back around, drawing Peace Maker smartly from its holster.

“Make your peace… lily!” she quipped with a smirk.

“Hubert! His name is Hubert!”

Wynonna looked over her shoulder and rolled her eyes as she lowered Peace Maker… completely missing the first stirrings of yellow rising along the barrel and the hissing rattle of freshly pruned leaves.


End file.
